Looking Back

 Oh my how the time has flown by! I really can't believe Noah is 4 months old. Time seemed to pass much more slowly when Noah was first born. I'm not gonna sugar coat it, becoming a mom was hard work!  I knew becoming a mom wasn't going to be easy but I had no idea how hard it truly was. I guess you can't know until you live it.

It wasn't really Noah's fault that he was so fussy and high maintenance. He did have several issues right off the bat. I had no idea that my supply was low and so he would need to nurse constantly and when he did he would cry (A LOT lol) and arch his back. It progressively got worse and worse. We thought he had silent acid reflux.(Come to find out later that he did in fact have reflux.) Thank the Lord that He directed me to a lactation consultant.
I found out my supply was very low and so I took some supplements and tried all I could to increase my supply. It did increase a bit and for a short amount of time, but I think being so busy with Noah and not being able to eat properly and the stress of trying to get pumping in caused my supply to tank again.
The worst part was after introducing him to the bottle, he flat out refused to nurse. He would scream at the mere idea of nursing.  I remember giving up and just giving him a bottle while I stared at him and cried. It was so disheartening to know that I couldn't supply my baby with what he needed. I had to come to terms with the fact that my body didn't do what it was made to do. Truthfully, that one stung a little. The Lord had to remind me that I was supplying my baby with what he needed. He has loving, Holy Ghost filled parents that will raise him unto the Lord and it really doesn't matter where his meals come from. There is a much bigger picture than that!

So that was our main issue among others in the beginning. It wasn't until right around the 3 month mark that there were consistently good days. As hard as it was in the beginning and as many meltdowns as Noah and I had, I wouldn't take any of it back (not that I would want to relive it....lol). It truly made me a stronger person and now I know that I can handle more than I ever thought I could. It also makes me appreciate all the good days we have now. So if I'm ever just a bit tired or having a bad day, I can look back and say, "This is nothing!" lol. I am so thankful for all the help that I've had along the way as well! Jen and Whitney, you both rock! I am so incredibly blessed to have such awesome friends. Love you both tons!

Noah is growing so fast. Too fast! Some stats:

• He's been in size 9 month pajamas for almost a month now.
• He once ate 11oz of formula in one sitting.
• He's in the 95th percentile for his height.
• He's a drool machine.
• He's taking his very first long road trip to Spokane in July. (Can't wait to see everyone at camp!)

I love everyday of being a mommy and I am so blessed to be able to stay home to raise my boy. This is the most rewarding job and I can't thank the Lord enough for trusting me with this little soul.